Gender and Me
Mar. 26th, 2012 08:08 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
esmegreyI think I may as well kick things off with my thoughts on gender, as they pertain to myself, at the very least.
I am not your typical transgender person, as my interest in the subject has mostly become just that; interest. Although in other ways, I am pretty typical.
I realized early on that I was different, like many do I suppose, and was fascinated with womens clothing, so there was a period where I dabbled with crossdressing. Eventually, I kinda looked in the mirror, and came around to thinking that this was just not doing anything for me.
Now, I have NOTHING against people who do crossdress, and who get some fulfillment out of it. If that works for you, oh my god, that is AMAZING. But, it just wasn't for me. On top of that, the prospect of becoming a TG person via hormones and surgery never really felt like an option either. Again, if that works for you other folks out there, these are my thumbs, and they are up for you!
But for me...not so much. It's hard to really say why, but part of it is feeling that it's just another layer of crossdressing, and I always felt the results would never, ever be all that great for me, since the starting point wasn't much to write home about either. Especially at the time period when this was really hitting me, I just wasn't all that much aware of the situation, and the processes itself were still a ways away (as far as I knew) from being all that great. I didn't want to be a guy in drag, or look like one, that was just so overtly NOT female...
And so, over time, I came to live with who and what I was, and accept it, so my interests drifted towards fantasy. I love roleplay, I love playing out the changes with friends, and I love the opportunity that the online world gives of at least living as I want to live in some circles. It gives me release to sometimes be changed from who I am into whom I want to be, but even there...that is a post for another day.
But yeah, I found my way to get through things, and I do not begrudge or look down on anyone who has found THEIR way, no matter how similar or different it may be. The face looking back from the mirror may not be the face I want, but how many people can REALLY say it is, 100%? But it is a face I can live with. If I must.
So, that's me and my history with gender, in a very large nutshell. I'm sure I've left out details, but I'm pretty sure I've alienated or offended everyone enough for one day. :)
Take care!
K
I am not your typical transgender person, as my interest in the subject has mostly become just that; interest. Although in other ways, I am pretty typical.
I realized early on that I was different, like many do I suppose, and was fascinated with womens clothing, so there was a period where I dabbled with crossdressing. Eventually, I kinda looked in the mirror, and came around to thinking that this was just not doing anything for me.
Now, I have NOTHING against people who do crossdress, and who get some fulfillment out of it. If that works for you, oh my god, that is AMAZING. But, it just wasn't for me. On top of that, the prospect of becoming a TG person via hormones and surgery never really felt like an option either. Again, if that works for you other folks out there, these are my thumbs, and they are up for you!
But for me...not so much. It's hard to really say why, but part of it is feeling that it's just another layer of crossdressing, and I always felt the results would never, ever be all that great for me, since the starting point wasn't much to write home about either. Especially at the time period when this was really hitting me, I just wasn't all that much aware of the situation, and the processes itself were still a ways away (as far as I knew) from being all that great. I didn't want to be a guy in drag, or look like one, that was just so overtly NOT female...
And so, over time, I came to live with who and what I was, and accept it, so my interests drifted towards fantasy. I love roleplay, I love playing out the changes with friends, and I love the opportunity that the online world gives of at least living as I want to live in some circles. It gives me release to sometimes be changed from who I am into whom I want to be, but even there...that is a post for another day.
But yeah, I found my way to get through things, and I do not begrudge or look down on anyone who has found THEIR way, no matter how similar or different it may be. The face looking back from the mirror may not be the face I want, but how many people can REALLY say it is, 100%? But it is a face I can live with. If I must.
So, that's me and my history with gender, in a very large nutshell. I'm sure I've left out details, but I'm pretty sure I've alienated or offended everyone enough for one day. :)
Take care!
K
